How To: Self Care Like a Boss

Self-care is a term that most people are familiar with by now, but few people actually take the time to consider its importance. For most people, self-care is a “luxury” that they think they can’t afford, rather than a lifeline that holds the rest of their life together. I’ve seen tons of memes joking about “taking a sip of water” or tending to some other basic human need as “self-care”. While I know it is just a joke, it is concerning to see how little weight self-care is actually given by most people. And considering all that we have had to deal with in the States the last couple years, I think we could all use some serious self-care!

Lucky for me, I learned early on just how necessary self-care is for my own health, wellness and self-preservation. I began meditating after taking a Psychology of Meditation class in college, and began practicing yoga shortly after that. By the time I was in grad school, I was certified in teaching yoga, was still practicing meditation, had a daily journaling practice and many other self-care tools under my belt.

Because I was studying social work, there was a heavy emphasis on self-care in our program, and it was taken very seriously. In a profession where you are serving others and helping them through the most difficult parts of their lives, it is IMPERATIVE to fill up your own cup before giving your energy to anyone else. This certainly rings true in that field, but it does not mean that other people don’t deserve and need self-care. Repeat after me: SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH – IT IS ESSENTIAL!!! I cannot stress this enough! Guilt about practicing self-care ends RIGHT here, RIGHT now!

Keep reading for a (long but not exhaustive) list of my favorite self-care practices. Note how these are not all “luxurious” things, but certainly essential to our well-being (such as doing laundry and actually putting it away). Feel free to comment below if I missed anything, and let me know what your favorite one is!

1. Massage
   • This is probably the most “luxurious” items on the list,  but if you have ever lifted weights or worked a job where you stand all day or anything else physically demanding, you can understand how essential this is! For everyone else, you would be amazed how much of our stress & anxiety is carried in our body, and how much getting a massage helps your entire life through easing this tension. Plus, the place I go to for reflexology massage is only $45 an hour. Tell me you can’t afford doing that every month or two!
2. Chiropractic
   • I haven’t been to one in a couple years, but I basically owe my first chiropractor my life. If it weren’t for her, I would still be getting migraines every day! I SWEAR by chiropractic for every problem related to the spine, joint pain, or anything else stemming from structural problems in your body. Trust me on this one!
3. Acupuncture
   • Another standby for me – some people aren’t into needles, but I swear you don’t feel them and it is THE most relaxing thing ever! It taps directly into your nervous system through your “meridians” (energy channels that run through your body) and addresses almost every problem you could possibly have. Ask me for more info if you are curious!
4. Yoga
   • Obviously I am biased because I teach and practice yoga, but there is a reason it is so popular still! My best advice is to find a class you REALLY like, and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. Sometimes it is harder than it sounds to find a good class with a good teacher, but don’t get discouraged! Most studios offer a free or very discounted week of classes, so don’t be afraid to shop around. And there are also tons of free videos online that you can start off with if you aren’t ready for a class yet
5. Exercise
   • This one is pretty obvious, and can be any type of exercise that you like! My favorites are running, lifting weights, hiking and yoga (and surfing but I don’t live by the ocean anymore 😞)
6. Meditation
   • One of the simplest things to do, although it can often be the hardest. I recommend sitting in a comfortable position with your eyes closed, taking five deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, then imagining a light beaming from the top of your head down through your toes, passing over every part of your body. Do that until you feel all of the thoughts drift out of your head, and repeat as needed. Set a timer for five minutes while you do this, and try to work your way up to twnty minutes or more. That’s it! See, I told you it was simple 😉
7. Journaling
   • I started writing in a journal every day following my first major breakup, and it was all that got me through the tough transition and into my new life in San Diego! I still journal almost every day, and honestly it is my main lifeline for getting through all of my problems. It can be awkward at first, but once you form a habit of writing at least a few times a week, you will find that you crave it when you go too long without it! Just start writing and see what flows onto the page and how much space it clears in your head!
8. Clean
   • I am super OCD so I actually really enjoy cleaning, but even I can get lazy about it! I get busy and let things pile up, but I can feel my energy getting cloudy and negative when I allow my space to get too messy. Although it can seem like a chore, if you put some good music on it really is not that bad, and the result of having a clean space is so rewarding! I legit get so much clarity from it and love how it looks once I am done
9. Do Laundry
   • This goes with the previous one, but is a little different because there are so many different steps to actually getting the clothes clean and back in your closet or drawers, which can be a bit overwhelming. My best advice is to just try to keep everything organized! I have a laundry basket in my closet for dirty stuff, and another basket next to my dresser for stuff that’s not dirty but not clean enough to hang back up or that I know I will be rewearing (like pajamas). That way, nothing ends up on the floor and your room looks clean all the time!
10. Make Your Bed
    • I can’t believe I am even writing this separately from the previous two but it needs to be said. I know a lot of grown adults that just don’t think this is necessary, but let me tell you – IT IS! It is INSANE how much cleaner your room looks JUST from cleaning your bed! Since I am OCD, I have always been obsessed with having a perfectly made bed. I remember taking a full ten minutes to make my bed when I was younger. Now it only takes me about 30 seconds, and is so worth it. I can’t leave the house without doing it!
11. Use a Planner
    • Getting your life organized is the best way to make you feel like a real adult. Since I am OCD, organization is obviously a top priority for me, so planners are essential. Plus, the best benefit is that it gets your to-do list OUT of your head and onto paper, so you can clear space in your brain for more important things!
12. Spend Time Outside
    • Getting a healthy amount of sun exposure is SO important to our health and well-being! Not only does it release endorphins in our body, but it also helps our body produce Vitamin D and melatonin, which is essential for regulating our sleep cycles
13. Sleep
    • You need more sleep. Yes you. The one who says they “only need 4 hours” to get by. STOP IT! Stop it right now! Your body is BREAKING down and you don’t even realize it! The longer you go without the proper amount of sleep, the harder it will be to recover. You might think you can outsmart your body and continue to deprive yourself of sleep, but you will see just how quickly it breaks down when it gives up on you! We ALL need 7-9 hours of sleep PER NIGHT! If you have insomnia or some other sleep problem, see the previous item on the list and get some help, because without adequate sleep, almost nothing else on this list really matters!
14. Drink Water
    • Ok good, now that you are reading this, go chug the closet bottle of water. DO IT! I’m watching you 👀
15. Eat Healthy
    • I am not gonna waste my breath telling you what to eat, because everyone has different dietary needs and preferences, but if you aren’t eating your vegetables and/or not eating at least three times a day, please check in with yourself and do better! This and the previous two items (sleep and water) are truly the most important things you can do for your health! Trust me on this.
16. Listen to Music
    • Just listen to whatever makes you happy. Often. Daily. All day if you can! See my Spotify playlists if you want some 🔥
17. Wash Your Face
    • OCD girl here again, wondering how TF y’all are going to sleep without washing your faces. No judgement, just bewilderment. Let’s do better ladies!!!
18. Buy Some Plants
    • I am a self professed plant lady, and have never been more sad than when I had to give away all my plant babies before leaving San Diego! They bring me so much joy and happiness, and literally clean the air we breathe. How cute is that??
19. Decorate Your Space
    • This doesn’t have to cost a lot – I love finding cute and cheap decor at Ross, Marshall’s, TJ Maxx & Homegoods – but it makes a huge difference! Think about the amount of time you spend in your home, and how much happier you would be if you enjoyed how it looked. Even adding a few decorative pieces or rearranging a bit can completely change a space! Take a day to give you home a mini-makeover and see how much it helps!
20. Reconnect With Old Friends
    • That old college roommate you stopped talking to and never knew why? Just reach out! They may be thinking the same thing
21. Cut Off Toxic Friends and Relationships
    • Keeping people in your life out of obligation or because of how long they’ve been in your life is helping absolutely NO ONE! Please do yourself and everyone else a favor and just cut them out. You don’t need a reason, you don’t need an excuse, just tell yourself you need to do it and DO IT! The clarity you will get from cutting out toxic people is incredible, and it will create space in your life for better things and people. Or just clear up space for you to practice more self-care and self-love!
22. Create Boundaries and Be Unapologetic
    • Once you master the previous thing, this one will come more easily. Do what you need to do for your own self-care and preservation and stop worrying about everyone else’s needs all the time! People will ALWAYS ask for things from you, and will not care about your needs or time. Yes, even boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses! It is human nature to put yourself first, so why are you still putting everyone else before you babygirl? Say no and MEAN IT! Stick to your guns and stop saying sorry for it. People will start to realize you are not fucking around, they will start to respect you more, and guess what – they will stop asking so damn much from you! Once they realize you won’t put up with being taken advantage of anymore, they will move on to someone else who will!
23. Be That Boss Bitch
    • If you do even half of the things on this list, your cup will be so full it will be overflowing! You won’t have any choice but to boss up and be THAT bitch! I promise if you do these things often and consistently, you will see SO many positive changes in your life. Like I said, this list is by no means a full or exhaustive list, but I didn’t want to overwhelm y’all (although I may add more later), so start here and see where it takes you! The best part about self-care is that it can be WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE! Whatever works for you and gives you life and energy. Now get off your phone/computer/tablet and get to self-caring! 💕

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